Over the past 8 years I’ve transitioned from being a teen mom, to a young mom, to just mom. I’ve always felt that society has categorized me of my mom status based on my age and it got me thinking about all the questions I’ve encountered since becoming a teen mom. Some of the questions are just uncalled for and I don’t know why people think that it is ok to ask them! Nonetheless, I decided to share the most repeated ones!
Q: What did your mom say when you told her that you were pregnant?
A: hmmm.. let me think.. my mom didn’t say much, it was more of how she reacted that stuck in my brain. She was VERY upset. She cried, I cried, we cried together. She knew how hard it was going to be for me for the next few years. One thing is for sure is that she never left my side. I Love you mom! [hehe]
Q: Where you scared?
A: Of course! I was scared for what was to come, the unknown territory. Scared of what the kids at school would say about me. Scared of what society would think of me. Scared of not finishing school. Scared of not being able to take care of Jayden properly. Just scared.
Q: What made you “keep” the baby?
A: Well, first, I’m not going to lie and say that, at the time, that abortion never crossed my mind. I was 15 for heavens sake! Once I told my mom that I was pregnant, she insisted that I face the consequence of my actions. Her words “If I wanted to act like an adult then I would need to deal with the consequences like an adult”. Some of you may have think that was the deciding factor that changed the rest of my life, but to be honest, I didn’t want to have an abortion, something inside told me it wasn’t the right path for me.
Q: How did it feel to be a teen mom?
A: I think this may be my favourite question because when you are living the life of a teen mom, you don’t really notice how you feel. You are basically shot into adulthood and you just…do it. [Nike reference anyone?] Of course, being a teen mom isn’t easy, definitely not ! and can I just touch on this quickly…since I am talking about teen pregnancy… What you see on MTVs Teen MOM is NOT a great representation. I can write a blog post about my Pro’s and Con’s on that show later… It is hard to use a particular “feeling”. I felt so many different feelings, happy, sad, nervous, excited, scared.. I literally could go on for a while.
Last, but certainly not least,
Q: If you could, would you change anything?
A: Simple and easy no. I’ll tell you why, because I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. As I think back, I wonder how my life would be if Jayden wasn’t in it. and It gives me the chills thinking about the possibilities. I was meant to be his mom, and he was meant to be my son.
Could you imagine answering the same questions over and over for 8 years?! AND the questions haven’t stopped. Once people figure out that I was a teen mom, I can see their minds running for either A) try to figure out what to say that won’t offend me OR B) They are so shocked that they just word vomit and just dig themselves into a hole. It is quite humorous to me..I have to find some Joy in it all right?
I strongly believe that I need to make my community aware about the truths of teen pregnancy. I will be following up with a post of “Questions not to ask a Teen Mom” super soon! Stay tuned and thanks for reading.