Today’s post will a bit more serious than most, I like to keep things light hearted on here but every once in a while, I have the urge to share some of my more personal experiences. I definitely don’t write things for pity. I usually write them as a sort of therapeutic exercise for myself to see how far I’ve come.
This is something I’ve been working on behind the scenes trying to figure out when the “right moment” would be to share my thoughts and opinions. Especially on topic that is controversial and brings on a lot of conversation. Co-parenting and all the things that come along with it.
While I do share my life openly on social media, I do tend to avoid any issues involving relationship, politics and religion. However, after much time, I’ve mustard up the courage to share my thoughts and personal experiences on co-parenting.
Parenting at Sixteen and Seventeen
Believe it or not, I receive a lot of questions asking about Jayden’s dad. Is he around? Does he help financially? Why aren’t you together? None of these questions really warrant an answer, since this is our lives and we deserve privacy. I do, however, use my blog to connect with others who may be going through similar issues so answers may be coming up shortly.
To give you some sort of back story and if you haven’t been following along on my blog journey for the past two years, Jayden (my eldest son) has a “different” dad then Abel. Which technically makes Jayden and Abel “half-brothers”. I’ve added the quotation marks to emphasize on the fact that I do not acknowledge or mention this to them. To us, they are brothers, through and through.
I have discussed the topic of Teen Pregnancy often on my site and I encourage you to read more of this topic. However, I haven’t touched based on the other aspect that include, co-parenting, child support, parenting time, etc. We often forget that there is another teen parent in the mix and sometimes they are not involved at all. Now, I won’t say I hit the jackpot when it comes to ex’s, but I also do not want to encourage bashing of the other parent. There is really no need for that and it doesn’t get you anywhere. Trust me, I know.
Why Happiness Doesn’t Come in the Form of a Wallet
We’ve all seen or heard about the television series Teen Mom OG, Teen Mom 2, 16 and pregnant right? Parenting at the age of sixteen is not easy and Co-parenting at sixteen is not a walk in the park either.
As Jayden gets older, co-parenting has become a bit easier. We are able to communicate directly, share time, and make decisions together (instead of apart). I’ve taken two parenting courses and I’ve learned that Jayden’s happiness is the most important. Making sure that he has relationship with each of us, is crucial.
My son is not a lump sum
After many years, I’ve come to the realization that Jayden’s well-being and happiness will always come first. Sure, there are days that I wish I had him all to myself and asking/receiving more money from his dad would make life easier for us. There have been many frustrating and trying times. My patience has been tested and my love for Jay even more so.
Being angry is ok. Being hurt is ok. You can’t seem to understand why the other person doesn’t listen or why they don’t agree with your point? Why are they making your life so difficult? I’ve tried the “if you don’t give me this much on this day, you’re not seeing your son”. It wasn’t for me. I saw the pain in Jayden’s eyes and I did not want to inflict anymore.
Jayden didn’t choose to be born to teen parents nor did he choose for his parents to part ways. It is not my decision to tell him who he loves and how much he loves them. It is not up to me to dictate his relationship with his father, because his dad doesn’t do a, b or c.
That’s not up to me and why I choose my son’s happiness over anger.
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Photography by: Happy Bees Events